So I am kind of back again. I don't actually know why tho. I guess I just wanted to, again, write something in here so it won't look like I abandoned it as much as I actually did.
I actually wanted to talk about some things that has been bothering me for quite a while now. It's about a lot of things that is happening to my life right now. I don't know where to start tho.
Okay, let me start with me wanting to finally have a job. Any job or any business that may come my way. I feel like I needed to work or a work. I'm quite desperate about it as well. I'm actually thinking of applying as a janitress to wherever, as long as I get paid. I know this is kind of stupid and I can feel you guys making faces as you're reading this but I am 100000x serious. I am thinking of going back to blogging and giving my 100% this time but I know that I'll eventually get lazy doing it. I tried searching for any online jobs I can do but I didn't trust anything that I saw. I wanna work from home. I wanna work somewhere far from home. I wanna earn my own money and be able to buy things I wanted to buy for my self. You see? This is my problem. I don't know what I really wanted to do with my life. All I know right now is I want to have a job that can pay me enough for my needs.
Another thing is, family.
I love them but I just wanna go away from them for a while. I wanna be free. I want to be independent. I know that for them to agree to this, I have to have a job and they need to see me be serious about it. Ugh. I just wanna run away.
I wanted my old life. I mean my life 2 to 3 years ago. I wanna be THAT girl again. Everything about my life right now is a huge mess. I don't even know. If only I can turn back time, I'll go back to when my life is not this problematic. I'll go back to being the yourg nice Lily that everyone know. Even if I know that I'll have to be the old boring me. I want that life more than my life right now.
Lovelife? My heart is in pain right now. I am hurting so much that I can't even tell you guys about it. I'll be fine, just like before.
So yeah. I think that's it.
with love, Lily.