186 days.

Top : From a store in Robinson's Place Pala-Pala || Necklace : Gift from Joanne. || Watch : Bench/

I know that it was my idea, for us to stop seeing each other. Well, not forever but for atleast 6 months. It's not for me, sa totoo lang, but for you and for HER. I know what she's feeling right now and as much you deny it, I know that you still care and love her. I don't wanna be THAT GIRL. I don't want anyone to hate me thinking that I stole someone from them when I know that it isn't even half true. I do like you though. I like you so much that my heart is aching right now and I may go cray cray any minute now... but I can't stay with you right now. I have to sacrifice and endure those feelings.

Uggghhhh. I hate how clingy I could get. We've only been friends for 2 weeks and everything is so complicated already.

Bye I... for atleast 6 months.


With love,
Lileth.

Secret Crush.

So I saw some notes/memo that I wrote several days ago in my phone and as weird and as freaky as it may sound to you guys, I wanted to share it here... just because I can and why not?


And yes, I was just listening to this song called "Secret Crush" and I don't know who the singer is. Sorry.


This is for this one guy I got to meet this year but we don't talk anymore. I saw him one night and dreamt about him right away.

"Dreamed about you last night. I missed you that much, I guess. You were talking about driving me home, guess you didn't know that I have a car now, the funny thing was I actually said yes to that. You also kept on talking about hair pins and when I woke up I was actually holding one. Hahahah. You looked nice last night when I saw you at GPoint by the way. Ugh. When will I be able to hang out with you again? I am actually longing for that, to be able to talk to you again would be fine for me.."

This is for my korean ex-boyfriend.

"Dearest Mr. S. Park,

I got to see you in my dream the other day. Do you miss me? I read somewhere that when a person is in your dreams, that person actually miss you. Is that true? Are you here in the country right now? 

I told my mom about that dream and she got excited too. She likes you too much, SB, a little bit too much, actually. 

Also - I miss you.."

I don't get it though, why am I suddenly dreaming about these guys. It's not like I talk to them like usual. Well maybe somehow, deep inside my brain/mind/heart, I actually miss them both. :)




with love,
Lilet. 

I'm HOLEY.

I've been meaning to buy a new bag for weeks now but I just can't decide on what I really want. So I saw some designs that I may or may not buy online. Is it really this hard to decide on buying a bag? My mom usually buy stuff(clothes, underwears, and bags) for me so I don't deal with the stress of finding and deciding what to buy. Hahahah.

Here are some of the bags that I liked.

I want this bag because the design somehow looks like the Celine bag that Kylie Jenner always bring with her. I am in love with that bag of hers. If only this one is a little bit smaller. 

The same reason as the first bag and it's in black and white so yaaaas!!!

Both bags are from an Instagram account called ShopYourStyle23. 

Check them out. They have a lot of pretty looking bags.

And then I went on to Zalora and I found these babies...

I've been wanting to own a bag like that Perfume Box Minaudiere for the longest time. It'll be super cute

to just carry them around. 

And these bags!!! They're on sale too so yaaaaas!!!

Now now now the question is, what should I get?



And yes, I am still watching Harry Potter and I'm on the last 2 movies, finally. :)



with love,
Lilet.  

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

@Potters Ridge Hotel.

Top from a store in Robinsons' Palapala | Skirt ; gift from Jerilyn | Shoes ; Keds.  

Yes, I am on a Harry Potter high. I've been watching the movies the whole day and it is safe to say that I feel like a child again and that my week is made. Hahaha. This is how everyone should start their Mondays.



So some of my friends and I went to some wedding reception venue around Tagaytay/Alfonso/Batangas last week. I was asked by my sister's friend to look for good venues for her wedding next year. It was tiring, specially I was driving the whole time but it was such a good excuse to bond with my friends and go on a road trip.




Mischief managed!



with love,
Lilet.

What makes me happy?

Was tagged by my little cousin, Hannah, to this "tag game" on Instagram and since I don't feel like answering it there, I am putting my answers here. :)

So I have to write about 10 things that makes me happy and 20 facts about me.

Here we gooooo~

10 THINGS THAT MAKES ME HAPPY : 

1. Family
2. Pizza.
3. Friends
4. Korean Music.
5. Korean Foods.
6. My car.
7. Kylie Jenner.
8. Music.
9. Make up.
10. Crts.

20 FACTS ABOUT ME :

1. I'm a heavy drinker.
2. I sometimes wish I am not as tall as I actually am.
3. I have the hugest crush on Kylie Jenner.
4. I quit college and I am unemployed.
5. I used to enjoy driving, USED TO.
6. I spend most of my time with my friends.
7. I don't like being told what to do.
8. I am currently in a relationship with someone but it don't feel like I am actually in one.
9. The name ACE is my most hated name. I don't think I'll ever be friends with someone named Ace.
10. Coke < Coffee.
11. I seriously wanna get plastic surgery but I am soooo poor to even dream about it.
12. I fell in love with one of my best boy friends. 
13. I wanna live in South Korea, Malibu and Japan, eventually.
14. I love singing.
15. My mom gave me my car, it's a honda crv 2003 model and I named it Joonattan.
16. I am stopping right here because I don't know what to write anymore. 

Fvck. I had such a hard time answering. WTF, right? I feel like I don't know my self more than before or maybe I just changed a lot and I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing...


with love,
Lilet.

Meeeeh.

I just don't seem to care anymore. I hate this feeling, it's like 4 years ago all over again. Ugggghhhhh.

with love,
Lilet.

Inlove ako?

August 15, 2014.

Spent the whole day at the Guarino's because I didn't have anything planned for the day. I basically just sat the whole day not doing anything. What is my life? Hahahaha.

We also decided to play badminton but since it was kinda late (9:55PM) when we arrived at Raquetas we only got to play for an hour. It was all good though. Just realized how I can't play bdaminton anymore, I suck. Hahahaha. I am actually thinking of getting back to playing it again and finally get in a much better shape. Hooorrraaaaay!!!

They (Ate Love and Jeri) pretty much made fun of my boyfriend the whole time. In a way, I do agree with them. Hahahaha. It's kind of a big deal, you see, having a boyfriend when the both of them are still single. Hahahaha. Just kidding. It's just that they're right in a way and I don't even like the guy that much. It also sucks that he shows his "kayabangan" when it's not needed or whatever. So yeah~ I am not inlove. Well, maybe I am, but to a different person, which, again sucks because we can never become an item because he's still mad at me because of something so stupid I can't even write about.

with love,
Lilet.

Candidly me.

HA! You do what you do to me right now. Don't answer my messages and ignore me all you like but I just want you to know that when I am done and eventually get tired of all of these, you won't even hear from me. You'll realize everything that you've done and I won't even be there to say how stupid you are to treat me like that. Don't you know that I am a master of erasing people from my life?

with love,
Lilet.

5

It's not that I don't love you, I am just not there... yet. I actually really like you. I remember you asked me why I said yes to you, well I don't know B, it just felt right that time and I guess I was kind of pressured to do so.

I just hate that you feel like I am lying to you when I'm actually not. I am not a sweet person, I hate texting and I hate texting someone first, I don't feel comfortable telling someone what I'm doing or where I am and I feel like that's because I got so used to being single, so yeah. I am trying my best to change that for you but I just feel like you don't appreciate that and you just don't trust me enough that you have a lot of doubts about me.

Sorry if you think I am that kind of person. :(



with love,
Lilet.

Where are my friends?

Duck face selfie because why not?

I recently realized that I don't really have any friends left. Of course I do have some but what I mean is I don't have as much friends as before and I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing.

I don't really mind. It just suddenly occurred to me when this one guy I know asked me if I can introduce him to one of my girl friends and I can't even think of anyone other than Jeri. What happened to my long list of friends? Hmmmmmm.

with love,
Lilet.

Lily.

WhatTheActualFrick. Why would you message me and when I message you back you won't even answer my question as if you didn't start this stupid exchange of text messages. Fucking stupid.

with love,
Lilet.

M

Ayo GG! Hahaha jk.

So last night I went to one of my college friends' birthday celebration and I can say that I kind of got tipsy from all the drinking. I sure had a good time. Happy Birthday Harold. :)

The point of this blog post tho is something I realized last night. You see, driving on my way home last night I cried because the song "Almost" by Tamia played on my phone and I suddenly missed M. The realization is that whenever I get drunk I always end up crying my eyes out for whatever reason. I just get too emotional. I could be crying for such a small matter as well, I could be crying because of the rain for all I know. It's kind of annoying because I don't like crying in front of people or someone but I can't really help it, can I?

with love,
Lilet.

HAPPY 1ST OF AUGUST.

Heyyow.

As I am bored and our internet connection is as weird as the weather right now, I am rewatching The Moon That Embraces The Sun while trying to figure out what to do with my life. Hahahaha. No kidding.

with love,
Lilet.

Over it.

I spent 4 months liking this guy who like the song "PANGAKO". I can still remember all of the reason and deets on how I started liking him. I say that I am over him and all but whenever I see him I just end up remembering all of our memories and it's kind of bitter sweet.

I spent 4 months making this guy who likes 711's hotdog sandwich happy. I spent my whole 4 months thinking about him, hoping and making sure that he is happy all the time. I even text him just to make sure that he smiled that day.

I spent 4 months running around telling people that I like this guy and making them believe that this guy actually like me back, but boy, was I so wrong.

The point is, I always end up liking someone that just won't look at me the same way I see them. It hurts but I am just so over it and I am sooooooo excited about being all alone my whole life. Not even kidding.

with love,
Lilet.

Royale.

If you guys don't know yet, I actually like reading. I read quite a number of books and I started reading novels and such since Grade 5, when my sister was still big about her novel/pocketbook addiction. She'd let me borrow her books and we'll just lay around and read all day. So my point is, I still love reading, but life is kind of getting in the way now so I don't get to do it as much as before.

I recently re-read The Fault In Our Stars and Looking For Alaska because I heard that someone is producing an adaptation of TFIOS and I want to relieve all the feels I felt when I read the book for the first time, 3 years ago. As I am typing this blog post, I already watched the movie twice and I cried both times. I didn't really liked the adaptation but I am a huge fan of the book and I am aware that  it is hard to put everything in the movie because it's only limited to at least 2 hours. I still salute everyone for making a good enough movie adaptation of The Fault In Our Stars. I am more in love with Augustus Waters because of Ansel Elgort.

This is basically what I wore to watch TFIOS. I was meaning to wear something

Hazel Grace would wear but I don't feel like wearing pants that day so

I settled for this blue dress and my new keds shoes. 

Yep. I won't be able to go a day without taking at least one selfie. 

Last week I went to Manila to attend a seminar and finally met Mr. Abel Gonzales. 

I didn't know what happened but I just stopped using make-up, well, I use still

do my eyebrows but that's basically what I use. I just feel more confident going out

without make up now more than ever. :)

I waited super long for them to call my number but the girl in the counter

decided to use a different counter machine or whatever that is so I didn't get

to go when it was my turn, they changed from counter 4 to 3 so I got

kind of frustrated and all but Abel helped me so it's all good and I finally

have my ID now. 

with love,

Lileth.

The truth.

If you had the chance, even less of it, to read my blog posts, you'll know that I am a girl that floats just about on earth and that I pretty much have a very boring, if not, really lame life. I often think that I am nothing but a huge waste of space here on earth, that I am better off as dead. You may be laughing as you read this, but that is just the truth.

This is not good.

Good morning. I just got back home from much needed alone time. Just chilled at Starbucks for a while then decided that I wanna drink so I ended up going to Luxe Down Under bar and only had 2 beers. I feel and think that I can't handle drinking anymore. I got quite tipsy with just 2 San Mig Apple. I don't know if this is real life or what. Hahaha.

So I am here posting something when I can't even think straight. I feel like I'll regret this later on but what the heck, if other people can drunk call or drunk text then I can drunk blog post or whatever. Hahaha.

This is going to sound really cliche and hypocrite. You'll probably think after reading this that I've gone cray cray and that I shouldn't be allowed to post anything anymore but piss off because I wanna do this and I have every right because ; this is my freaking blog.

I just wanna come clean.

I am not gay, if that's what you're assuming this is all about.

I am actually not what I tell people I am. I over exaggerate my life when I tell people my story. I always add things that can boost my self up or I just don't tell them everything. I am such a good liar. I point at one direction but really, I am up to the other direction. I even cringe at my self sometimes for doing that, I don't really know. I guess you can say that even I get surprised when my brain suddenly tell my mouth to say certain things that don't really happen/happened to me, it feels like I am writing my own novel, only I don't literally write about it nor people know about it. I am also surprised at how people actually believe at whatever I am saying, or maybe I am just too stupid to notice that they don't believe me. Don't get me wrong or don't assume that everything I tell people are all lies tho, I do this to people I barely know or people who don't really matter to me, so maybe 20% of the time. If you're my friend, you'll know that I am actually an open book, I won't be able to hide anything from you so this don't apply to you.

Why am I posting about it then? Because I am scared at how other people presume things about me when they don't really know me. I feel like I give them something real bad and I come off as an arrogant asshole to them. But I don't really mind. They don't matter to me anyways.

Aaaaah~ such realizations and confessions keep me sane, really. :)


with love,
Lilet.

BAE

HAPPY THURSDAY.

Watching this crazy episode of DARK MINDS about Israel Keyes. I just can't. My friends and I recently acquired this weird liking of watching documentaries about serial killers. 

So yeah, I am here again. I've been quite busy the last week because of the town fiesta and because I kind of forgot to actually post, heck, I also forgot to water my plant. It almost died on me.

Still thinking if I should post our CamSur trip or nah.


with love,
Lilet.

Realization.

HAPPY MONDAY... again!!!

I don't really know but I kind of got this weird realization while I was eating Pancit Canton, just now.

If I remember it right, last year or maybe last last year, I used to just being alone and hating everything and everyone around me. I don't really remember why anymore but I can still remember that part of my life. I just don't feel like talking with anyone and I used to just lock my self in my room. I didn't even use my phone for its purposes, I just used it as my alarm clock or for music. My childhood friends can attest to this.

I kind of went to that phase too. I didn't show it by my fashion sense or whatever, or even music but in my mind I know I was rebelling from everyone. I used to post "emo" stuff around the web. Everything I see, everything I hear or every little thing that caught my attention will be cursed. Also - I curse like a sailor back then. In every sentence that I make.

I still have those moments up to now but I can say that I am much more happier that before. I met a few people that I can say, made me realize how wonderful and happy life can be. I am of course grateful to them. You can still hear me curse a lot but I can say that this time I was just kidding and I am just being my sweet self to my friends. Hahaha. And tumblr taught me the language that is "sarcasm" so yeah~ :P

I guess I was just being a teenager back then. Not by age, but I am a late bloomer after all. I think I just didn't know what to do with my life so I ended up hating the world. I can say that feeling that is not good but it thought me a lot of lessons and it made me who I am right now. So I am thankful.


with love,
Lilet.

A thousand miles.

So as of my last post, I decided to just go with this URL and instead make a new tumblr account for photography. I'm still practicing and I know having that account would help me a lot. :)

You can follow/visit my tumblr accounts, if you're interested.

ITSLILYJECIEL / LILYJECIELBEHINDTHELENS

with love, Lileth.