This is not good.

Good morning. I just got back home from much needed alone time. Just chilled at Starbucks for a while then decided that I wanna drink so I ended up going to Luxe Down Under bar and only had 2 beers. I feel and think that I can't handle drinking anymore. I got quite tipsy with just 2 San Mig Apple. I don't know if this is real life or what. Hahaha.

So I am here posting something when I can't even think straight. I feel like I'll regret this later on but what the heck, if other people can drunk call or drunk text then I can drunk blog post or whatever. Hahaha.

This is going to sound really cliche and hypocrite. You'll probably think after reading this that I've gone cray cray and that I shouldn't be allowed to post anything anymore but piss off because I wanna do this and I have every right because ; this is my freaking blog.

I just wanna come clean.

I am not gay, if that's what you're assuming this is all about.

I am actually not what I tell people I am. I over exaggerate my life when I tell people my story. I always add things that can boost my self up or I just don't tell them everything. I am such a good liar. I point at one direction but really, I am up to the other direction. I even cringe at my self sometimes for doing that, I don't really know. I guess you can say that even I get surprised when my brain suddenly tell my mouth to say certain things that don't really happen/happened to me, it feels like I am writing my own novel, only I don't literally write about it nor people know about it. I am also surprised at how people actually believe at whatever I am saying, or maybe I am just too stupid to notice that they don't believe me. Don't get me wrong or don't assume that everything I tell people are all lies tho, I do this to people I barely know or people who don't really matter to me, so maybe 20% of the time. If you're my friend, you'll know that I am actually an open book, I won't be able to hide anything from you so this don't apply to you.

Why am I posting about it then? Because I am scared at how other people presume things about me when they don't really know me. I feel like I give them something real bad and I come off as an arrogant asshole to them. But I don't really mind. They don't matter to me anyways.

Aaaaah~ such realizations and confessions keep me sane, really. :)


with love,
Lilet.